Gradius II

~ GRADIUS II ~

Konami

Super CD-ROM

1992

I kind of have a history with this game. I'd heard so many great things about it before I purchased it. Back then, it was relatively expensive and hard to come by, so I had to wait a while to nab my own copy, and I grew more and more eager to play it as time went by. Plus, right before I finally got it, I'd beaten and LOVED Parodius, so I was totally psyched for more Gradius-style action.

In short, I ended up disappointed. There are lots of 16-bit sidescrolling shooters that are more intense and have better visuals, and very little of this fairly antiquated game seemed fresh to me. Parodius has much more action and personality. At least the CD renditions of familiar Gradius tunes are absolutely wonderful (fans of the series will adore them), and while the bitter taste from that initial experience still lingers, every time I replay the game I like it more than I expect to because it really isn't terrible.

I could gripe about the lousy checkpoints, the options thieves (who sometimes appear during boss fights--argh!), the unimpressive weaponry, and the absurdly redundant "shoot the core" bosses, but Gradius fans already know about all of that and are accepting of it. Then there's the horrible slowdown and the poor collision detection, but Gradius fans have experienced their fair share of both anyway. What bugged me the most was the lack of freshness, which might just be what'll make this paradise for the aforementioned fans. But here's what I thought as I proceeded through the game:

Stage 1 - The money level, the one everyone knows about, with the big "fire planets" and the flame serpents. It scores points for cool looks and cool concepts, but there's pretty much nothing going on action-wise. That's fine for a first stage, but not so much for a money level.

Stage 2 - "Web-like" crap to shoot through and hopping spider-like things to kill as you make your way through a mundane gray level. This stage has one of the few tunes that I dislike in the game.

Stage 3 - How many shooters have you seen by now with a level where you have to break apart chunks of rock/ice/crystal?

Stage 4 - The usual Gradius forestial "bytopia" with the usual cannons, little guys, and volcanic debris to deal with.

Stage 5 - Moai head time. Seen these guys before? It's still pretty intense stuff, and the Moai music sounds GREAT here, very chilling.

Stage 6 - Ruins with pillars that break from their foundations and shoot vertically across the screen. This stage wasn't in the arcade game. It's pretty lackluster, but the statue-like things that hop towards you near the end are cool.

Stage 7 - Maze level. I much prefer high-speed reflex-based scenes like the Aero Blasters speed tunnels to crap like this where you basically crash, learn, and proceed.

Stage 8 - Boss gauntlet. Great rendition of a familiar tune. You've seen most if not all of these bosses by now.

Stage 9 - Lots of small-fry and then pieces of the floor and ceiling break off and fly towards you. This is pretty tough to get through if you die and lose your power. A typical "wall" boss, then the indestructible spider thing (which seemed really unimpressive after the Parodius showgirl), and finally, the requisite joke of a final boss. Poor ending, and that's all folks... unless you continue on and play the more-difficult loop. I did not.