Takin' it to the Hoop

~ TAKIN' IT TO THE HOOP ~

AiCOM / NEC

HuCard

1989

I put off purchasing this game for a good eighteen years because I was in no rush to pick up something that, according to many reports, is inferior to wrinkled old Double Dribble. Actually, Takin' is essentially a cartoony rendition of DD. As such, it bears little resemblance to real basketball and looks goofy as hell... but really, who cares? It wasn't intended to be a serious basketball "sim." (You'd be better off with TV Sports Basketball if you're looking for one of those.) It's just a fast-paced, carefree game of hoops that plays reasonably well and has funny character "portraits"; and it demands little in the way of strategy aside from the occasional substitution of players. Taking it for what it is, I had fun with it... for a few minutes.

Then I got annoyed with it. The games run way too long, with no apparent means of shortening them available. The screeching music drives me crazy, even after I set the volume incredibly low. And the worst part of all is what the designers implemented as a "difficulty curve." Exhibition and early Tournament matches provide practically no challenge: you'll be ahead by an insurmountable margin at the end of quarter one and have to endure three more long periods before finishing up or advancing. Later in the tourney, your opponents become steal-happy and need do little more than graze your players in order to recapture the ball. Of course, despite their defensive "skills," the computer-controlled ball handlers still perform stupidly, making it easy to regain possession and transforming the game into a turnover-fest. And when those fools finally start to wear down due to their low stamina, it becomes a breeze to nail boatloads of successive baskets and take control of the contest completely. I certainly don't expect realism from the Takin' experience, but these sorts of matches are just plain stupid.

Choose a city to play for and meet the misfits on your club.

Play along and pretend there's some sort of strategy involved in the gameplay.

Dunks and free throws receive the "fancy" (read: usual) close-up treatment.

You'll be burying the computer and realize an eternity remains before the final seconds will tick off the clock. Fun.

Halftime "entertainment."

Think the computer needs to make better use of its bench players?

If you're willing to sleepwalk through easy early-round blowouts and trade innumerable turnovers in the farces that are the later matches, you too can survive the daunting Takin' tournament bracket.