Tatsu no Ko Fighter is a dreadful game, a primitive disaster that I couldn't bear to look at for more than just a few seconds because of its disgraceful visuals. I returned to it upon learning of the "manly challenge" it presents, as conquering it was alleged to be a task as impossibly difficult as slaying blood mammoths (monstrous Siberian beasts who have remained undefeated throughout recorded history and act as Duomazov war chargers). Yeah, well, unlike an honorable fist-vs.-massive-saber-tusk mammoth encounter, Tatsu no Ko is a "hard for all the wrong reasons" kind of challenge. You've got a weak hero, wretched jumping controls, and abysmal collision detection in a world of countless bottomless pits; thin platforms; deadly booby traps; blind leaps; spiked floors; and really fast, really strong enemies. Have a blast with all that.
And now I hear my friend Nectarsis (Turbo Master of the Great Midwest) asking, "Aren't there ANY redeeming features?" Well, a couple of the tunes aren't too bad--and are obviously wasted here.
These two cloud-riding guys are really helpful in destroying enemies who would normally laugh off your regular attacks and maul you. They can't keep your feeble, clumsy avatar from falling off those thin columns, though...
...nor will they reveal the many traps the enemy has set.
I like the skeletons. They lob their heads at you.
But there isn't much to like about the bosses, who are actually stupidly easy to beat. Just before stomping on them, the inspired farmer-boy hero undergoes a laughable transformation into a "muscleman." Look at that mighty weapon he wields; how could his foes have ever stood a chance?
You pass through crudely drawn villages where you can heal up, upgrade your weapon, and speak with some incredibly ugly townspeople.
Yep, towns, transformation scenes... and even a little bit of romance. Tatsu no Ko Fighter really is the complete package.
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