~ ANDRE PANZA KICK BOXING ~This disaster accounted for one of my most bitter childhood Turbo experiences. I was so psyched for this chip because I thought a kick boxing game would be cool and VG&CE actually gave it a positive review. Unfortunately, it ended up sucking, and sucking badly.
One-player mode involves no skill at all. I just use two moves I like (one an in-close shot and the other a stay-away attack) over and over and over again. I either whittle my opponent's health down to nothing or land a random "killer blow." During my very first trip through the game, I had to spend so little time in the training mode (which is for raising attributes) that when I initially reached Panza, I wasn't allowed to fight him because my stats, according to the game's figuring, were insufficient. So I had to waste time pounding on a button in training mode before I could beat the crap out of the champ.
Funnily enough, over the years I've come to accept Panza for what it is, and I don't mind it so much now. Landing a knock-out blow from out of nowhere is good for a bit of a rush, and there are worse ways to bide a little time than by handing out a few mindless beatdowns (though having to train is still annoying). Some elements have actually always been appealing: the combatants are animated pretty well, and I guess I'm easily entertained, as I like how you go from an empty arena to a packed one once you've proven yourself worthy of facing the good fighters. And I suppose it's kind of amusing (in a sad, sad way) that the end credits consist of a single screen, a good chunk of which is occupied by a "Special Thanks" list. (The Japanese CD version does have a credit roll.)
Crush a few ham-and-eggers and you'll make it to the big time.
Bullman stood no chance.
This match with Panza was tight and looked like it would go the distance...
...but in the end, even the champ couldn't stand up to me.
I'd rather not.
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